Chasing Stars
by purple pear 87
Summary: ". . . And he's scared. Because he can feel himself getting in too deep with her. He doesn't want her to find out that he's not who she thinks he might be. She's pure, and he's tainted." Sirius/OC. Warnings: drinking, sex, heavy angst.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Chasing Stars

**Pairings:** Sirius/OC, Lily/James, Remus/OC

**Rating: ** T

**Warnings: **Angst, alcohol, mentions of sex, some sexual content

**Summary: **Sirius Black has never been in a substantial relationship before. He always manages to destruct any connections he makes. But this time it's different. This time she's smart and sweet and beautiful, but he's not ready to commit. And while she loves him, she knows she can't compete with any of the hundreds of girls that want him. Warning: drinking, drugs, sex, and heavy angst. Sirius Black/OC, James/Lily.

**Author's Notes:** This story was requested by Raiha Laf Qyaza, who wanted some sort of a sequel, centered around the pairing of Aria and Sirius. Enjoy the story, and please review!

I'll admit- this is a bit more substantial than any of the other stories I've written- especially more than my Lily/James one. But these characters are deeper and more mature and have more problems, so I decided there has to be drinking and sex, or else it wouldn't make sense. I'm sorry if you're not comfortable reading this, but I hope you can enjoy it, and please review!

**Disclaimer: **All characters, excluding my OCS, are the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

Chasing Stars

Chapter One

Sirius Black is untouchable, rather like the stars in the night sky, or the hope of ever having a functional family. He's practically royalty- he's got all the teachers wrapped 'round his finger, and when he smiles, the entire female population bows down before him.

It's not surprising, therefore, that Aria can't stop watching him. She follows the movement as he flicks his head, his hair falling into his eyes. It's long enough to be considered too much so, but nobody would ever dream of thinking that of him. She admires the sharp cut of his cheekbone, the smooth curve of his jaw and the slope of his aristocratic nose. She can't help it. It's as if he were made to be ogled.

"Aria?"

She returns to the normal world, as opposed to the one in which Sirius turns and smiles at her, a promise blooming in his eyes, with the sense of wrenching her head out from under a breaking wave. "I'm sorry, what?"

Lily, her best friend in the whole world, looks at her with concern. "Are you all right? You look a bit. . . flushed."

Aria shakes her head, tucks her hair behind her ears, and tries to ignore the vision of everything manly and gorgeous sitting just two (two!) seats away from her. "I'm fine. Really," she hastens to add, seeing the green of Lily's eyes narrow. "Just thinking about the transfiguration project, is all."

Lily shoots her a look that says, quite plainly, that she knows damn well that was a lie, but distraction arrives in the form of Lily's current love interest, Nate Hendricks, who sits beside her and grins, leaning towards her ear to whisper something. Aria watches Lily brighten, her face illuminating with happiness, and sighs. She adores Lily, really, but she wishes she could have that sort of relationship with a boy- one with trust. "So. Are you going to the dance?" Nate asks her, once Lily has turned back to buttering her toast with a slight smile on her face.

Ah. The dance. The costume ball held every year around Halloween. Aria rather suspects it's only purpose is for Dumbledore to show off his impressive collection of hats. It's fun enough, though. She shrugs, ignoring the urge to stare accusingly at Sirius. "I don't know. I'd like to. But I'd need to find a date first."

Nate looks at her sympathetically. He and Lily have already made plans. "I have a friend who's interested. . . He'd love to take you."

She shakes her head, so violently that it surprises him. "No. Thank you, though." She shoves the edges of her toast into her mouth, nibbling mindlessly. Lily looks up and shoots her a knowing glance. Lily knows about Sirius. There's a reason she's the best in the year, after all. She managed to worm it out of Aria somehow. She doesn't care. As long as that information stays a secret.

And then Lily's eyes widen, and her mouth parts as she focuses on something over Aria's head. Aria frowns, confused, then turns around and freezes. Sirius Black is standing above her, looking breathtakingly gorgeous, his hands shoved into his pockets. "Hello," he says conversationally. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear. You don't have a date to the dance, Jones?"

Great. Just what she needs, being called out by Sirius-fucking-Black. "No, I don't," she says shortly, focusing on the collar sticking haphazardly out from under his sweater. He smirks, or so she thinks. She doesn't want to look up into his face. "Well, it just so happens that I don't, either. Maybe we can fix that?"

Her breathing falters. Is he hinting at what she thinks he is? "Come with me," he says, his eyes clear and earnest. "It'll be fun." She pauses, weighs in her options. There's not much to lose. "All right," she says, attempting to sound composed while her insides dance the conga. "It can't hurt."

"That's the spirit." He beams at her, and her heart melts a little bit. "I'll meet you in the entrance hall at seven, tomorrow?" She nods, and he puts his hand on her shoulder and squeezes before walking away. She waits until his long, lithe frame disappears, and rounds on Lily. "What did you tell him?"

"Me?" She grins. "No- that was all him."

"I don't believe you. Why would he ask me out?"

Lily rolls her eyes. "Oh, I don't know- maybe because you're exactly his type?" She pushes this away. She knows that eyes follow her. She doesn't give a damn about that. "But we hardly even talk."

"And maybe this will give you a chance to?" Lily shrugs, and turns to Nate. "I've got to run- I left my bag in the tower. See you in a bit?" He nods. She hesitates, before bending down and quickly kissing his cheek. Aria grins. So does Nate. Lily leaves. Aria's eyes slide down the table and fasten on James Potter, who's watching Lily walk off with a clearly heartbroken expression on his face.

Aria turns away. It could be worse, she decides, remembering that she now has a date with Sirius Black, and grinning. It could be a whole lot worse.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sirius

He waits, unreasonably anxious, by the entrance to the hall. Around him, costumed party go-ers swam like insects, all glittering eyes and gilded wings. He feels like a dark cloud looming- he's the only one wearing black robes, buttoned high on his throat, with elegant golden designs. He hates them- they're an appeasement gift from his mother, trying to get him to come back to them. But Aria requested it, so he really doesn't mind.

He looks across the room, and there she is, walking towards him with a determined look on her face. She looks like some kind of avenged angel, with a long, ripped dress and hair like curled silk. "Hi," she says simply, coming to a stop in front of him. There's a glint in her eyes that he's seen before. She's achingly beautiful with her red, red lipstick and eyelashes of thick black yarn that flutter across her cheeks.

"Hi," he says, offering his hand to her. He can't help it- she's the kind of girl that he's drawn towards. She takes it and laces her hand through his, which is something he never allows, but she doesn't look at him, so he lets her. She pulls him towards the door, and a cloud of bats propel through the air and land in the ceiling. The music swells like a bubble and surrounds them.

"Did you eat already?" She asks, the candles floating around their heads casting suggestive shadows over her face and her chest. "There's dinner. Or dancing. With me, I mean. Or, you don't have to, if you don't want to."

He grins, because the way she's worrying his lip makes him think about other things. "I'd love to dance. With you." He watches her eyes widen and grabs her other hand, moving backwards while towing her to the dance floor so that he doesn't miss an expression. "Come on." Couples part as they move; the combination of his name and her face are an intimidating sight. He stops, right in the middle of the dance floor, with candlelight falling around them. She curves in towards his chest, but stops there, as though afraid to touch him. He smiles reassuringly and loops his arm loosely around her waist, drawing her closer.

The music switches, horribly, as though in a bad romantic movie, to a slow waltz. He grins, and she ducks her head and puts her arms around his neck. "You took lessons?" he asks, as her body melts against his, because with warmth like that, he needs something to distract himself. Her feet move in tiny steps, flitting across the floor. She grimaces. "Unfortunately. My parents are purebloods- the old kind of family. They always insisted on it." She rolls her eyes, and clearly this is a sore subject.

"I know the feeling." He doesn't go into it, doesn't want this one-time date to be anything serious. He doesn't do serious. Instead, he tips his head to the side and studies her. She watches him watch her, and a pretty blush creeps up her cheeks. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just. . . stunning."

"Thank you." Her hands skate over his shoulders, adjusting his collar. "You're not too bad yourself." She half-smiles and moves closer to him, until the top of her head is brushing against his freshly shaven chin. He notices the tiny details, the way her fingers shuffle to find the right groove on his shoulder, the inward slope her waist makes, as his hands tighten around it. She's far too close to him, but he can't bring himself to push her away. It's nice, to have a girl wrapped around him when they're both clothed, and he doesn't have to be flirting.

The music changes, after a few moments hanging silently in the air, into something fast and upbeat, but Aria doesn't pull away. He accepts this, ignoring the way couples shoot them wary looks. The boy dancing to his left glares at Sirius jealously, although he's currently wrapped up in a tall blond girl that the latter can remember sleeping with at the end of the previous year. Aria doesn't notice, as her face is buried in his chest. Sirius knows that she's popular- he's not a pariah- but he has never taken into account just how many blokes would want to be in his place. His fingers tighten around her thin hips, without him knowing it, as he glowers back at the boy.

At last, Aria pulls away. The cheek that has been pressed against him is red and has the imprint of velvet. It frightens him, how adorable she looks. He wants to grab her and envelop her in his arms again, but then he wouldn't be able to see her face. "Do you want to eat? You're not required to dance with me the whole time, you know."

"Required?"

She nods. The crease in-between her eyebrows fascinates him. "You didn't have to take me, because I couldn't find someone to."

"I'm not with you because I feel sorry for you," he says. The idea is so ridiculous that he would laugh, if it wasn't for the stubbornly determined expression on her face. "I'm here because I want to. You're my _date_."

"Really?"

He's not sure what to say to her. He doesn't know her very well- he doesn't know what she likes and what she dislikes, what she talks about with her friends, what she wants most in life. All he knows is that she's very pretty- too pretty for her own good, warm in his arms, and easy to talk to. "Of course. I asked you, didn't I?"

It's a lame answer, and he wouldn't blame her if she took it as such. Instead, she seems to take comfort in that, smiles brightly, and offers her hand out to him. "In that case, show me what you've got."

She spins away from him, her robes twirling around her slender legs, her hair flying out in a golden arc, feet delicately floating around the floor. She raises her chin at him, and there's a look of challenge in her eyes. He grins, steps forward, and takes her hand, moving his footwork to match hers. The music is loud and pumps through his veins like adrenaline. It's intoxicating, being this close to her, seeing the thrill of dance in her eyes. People are staring. He doesn't care. She's laughing, her head tossed back, the curve of her cheek lit with the candlelight.

At last, when the music slows to a shivering long note, Aria comes to a stop, still holding onto Sirius's hand, her face flushed and excited. "That was fun," she says breathlessly. "I should dance more often."

"With me," he clarified, because the boy dancing two feet to the right of them was still looking at Aria as though she were edible. She gives him, Sirius, a funny look, but shrugs. "Sure. If you're up for it." The teasing look on her face is almost too much, and he laughs, wriggling his eyebrows at her. "You'd never stand a chance."

She laughs, too, and the sound harmonizes with the band, who have started a slow ballad. He looks around the Great Hall as she presses closer to him, and suddenly it's too crowded. He puts his hand on the small of her back and looks down into her heart-shaped face. "Do you want to go outside?" She doesn't say anything, just leans into him, her shoulder pressing against his chest, and smiles up, her face open and shy and sweet, and that's answer enough.

Roses are blooming in the garden, the pink and red bathed in the silver light of the moon. Petals are strewn across the path, and a tiny bench is situated right underneath a weeping willow tree. They move towards it, as though it's an unspoken agreement. He waits for her to sit, before perching on the tiny sliver left. She sighs happily, tilting her head up to look at the luminous branches. "I never knew this was here."

"Well," he says smugly, putting his arm around her shoulders so that she won't have to shiver, but it's really an excuse to touch her. She curls into him slightly. "I know a lot of things that people don't."

"Such as. . .?" Her tone echoes his, and he feels his lips curl up into a smile. He loves this, having someone to match him, instead of just another girl batting her eyelashes and giggling mindlessly.

"Such as, I have the prettiest girl in all of Hogwarts sitting under a willow tree with me. And that I'm a lucky man, indeed." Instead of making her smile, as it would any other girl he had ever been with, she frowns. Her eyes sweep over his face. "So, is that why you asked me?"

Something tells him that it wouldn't be wise to agree with this. "Do you really think I'd stoop that low?" She quirks her eyebrow at him. "Sirius." The way she says his name gives him a little thrill. "If all the rumors are true, then-"

He clasps his hand over her wrist. "No. Listen." She turns to look at him, and he can tell by the little breath she takes in that his eyes are too intense. He's been told that they're like steel when he's not careful. "Yes. You're beautiful. But you're also interesting and funny and good at dancing, and I want to know more about you. Okay?"

She smiles slightly and bumps her shoulder against his. "Thanks. And. . . I've liked you for a while now. I don't know who wouldn't."

He laughs, and then stops abruptly when she tucks her hair behind her ears and looks at him sideways as though she doesn't know why. "Oh. I didn't know you were serious."

"I'm not. You are."

"Oh, no. You did not just make that joke. I can't believe you just said that. Do you know how many times people have said that?"

"Sorry," she immediately apologizes. "I couldn't resist, though. It was perfect timing." He grins reluctantly and tilts his head as her hair brushes under his chin so that he can feel his warmth. "I'm glad you said yes."

He can feel her eyelashes brush against the skin of his neck. "So I am."

The bench is so small that they have to sit up against each other, their thighs pressing. Her hair falls onto the sleeve of his robe, curling around itself. He moves his arm as she creeps closer to him, his arm shielding her bare neck and thin robes. She smells amazing, like vanilla and mint and something he can't name, but makes him want to devour her.

She looks up at him, briefly, her eyes glinting in the moonlight, and her expression changes as she sees the naked want on his face. Her breathing falters. He reaches his hand out, slowly, so that she won't run away, and brushes his hand across her jaw, trailing it across her skin before burying it in her hair. She exhales, her lower lip trembling, and he leans closer, bumping his forehead against hers before leaning forward to close the distance between their lips.

He kisses her, for the first time, and it's pure and real and raw. He pulls her closer, and she makes a soft sound against him, turning towards him on the bench until they're kissing full-on. She's not the most experienced kisser he's ever met, but she makes up for it with enthusiasm and the way her fingers move against the back of his neck.

"Aria." The way he says her name is low and hoarse, and makes her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks. "Can we. . ."

"Leave?" She quirks her mouth and runs her fingers through his hair as she thinks. He closes his eyes and enjoys the sensation. She presses her lips against his, hard, this time, and stands up. "Let's go."

Surprised, he gets to his feet and grabs her hand, following her through the rose garden. He stops, as they reach the castle, grabs her around the waist and pushes her into the wall, kissing her hungrily. She melts into him, her legs tangling with his, and allows this for a moment, before pushing him away. "Upstairs," she says breathlessly, pulling him forcibly through the castle doors, through the hall, and up the marble staircase towards the nearest dormitory.

. . . . . . . . .

**A/N-** I have the first fifty pages of the story typed out, so updates should be quick. Review, and tell me what you think?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** All characters and places, except for my OCS, are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Two

Aria

Warm lips on bare skin. She stirs, her legs tangling in blankets and another pair of bare feet. She sighs, shifts, pulls the sheets up to her chin and sinks back into the warmth behind her. A hand skates over her midriff, raising goosebumps. She yawns, turns her head, her hair loose and looped around the pillow, and finds herself face to face with a sleeping Sirius. His cheek is pressed against her shoulder, the beginnings of a beard tickling. He looks so innocent and pure that she smiles. His body is curved around hers as though it fits naturally. She closes her hand over his, feeling the long, elegant fingers and calloused palms, and brings them up to her lips to kiss.

He twitches on her shoulder. She waits, hardly daring to breathe, in case it was all a terrible mistake, and he hadn't really meant to sleep with her. But then he yawns and gives a little sigh and curls closer around her. "'Morning."

"Good morning." She twists in his arms, until her face is at the hollow of his neck. They stay like that, wrapped around each other, where it's warm and comforting. He smells like aftershave and boy.

"Are you okay?" He asks at last, pulling back slightly until they can look into each other's faces. He looks more human in the early morning, when he has bags under his eyes and his hair is mussed and scruff is growing along his jawline. Less like the untouchable god that he is. She smiles. It wasn't her first time, and it certainly wasn't his. "I'm fine. Perfect, actually."

"Yes, you are." His gray eyes pierce like morning stars. "I already knew that, though." She grins, stretches up and lets him kiss her. Before they can get carried away, she shoves at his chest. "You should go."

He sighs and falls back onto the mattress with a sigh. "Mmm. . . I don't want to go anywhere." She sits up, her hair falling around her back, her sheet firmly covering her body. He watches her, his eyes penetrating her more than she would like. His hand rests on her bare back, tracing small circles. "I know. But if my roommates find you. . ." Silencing charms only last too long. He gets to his feet, and she blatantly ogles him as he pulls on his shirt, pants, and trousers. His hair is flat against his head, his collar exposing one shoulder. He looks adorable in red. She runs her hand through her hair and tilts her chin up as he leans over and presses his mouth against hers, a sweet, lingering kiss. She smiles as he pulls away.

"I'll see you later?"

"Wait." He pauses, looks back over his shoulder at her. She wraps her arms around her knees protectively, and looks at him. "Will you really? Are we. . . dating?"

He doesn't say anything for too long. She retreats back into herself, flinching away from him. Before she has time to process her thoughts and tell him to get the hell away from her, he's kneeling on the bed beside her, his hands in her hair, his lips on hers. "No," he murmurs, pulling back until his eyes are swimming in front of hers. "No, don't. If you want to be, then of course we are." He kisses her again, smiles, and leaves in a parting of curtains and muffled footsteps.

She's left alone in her bed, wrapped in memories, shivering. Last night was amazing, and Sirius is everything she's wanted in a guy. The only real question is if he's actually as womanizing as everybody's always said. If she's even gotten a chance. But of course she does, because he slept with her, and he danced with her, and kissed her like that, with soul. He wouldn't just do that to anyone.

She gets to her feet, grabs a pile of clothes, and makes her way into the bathroom to shower, with the sense of washing a layer of impurity away.

. . . . . . . . . .

School goes on. Life goes on. Aria showers and gets dressed and heads down to the Great Hall with her hair damp behind her ears. Sirius is already at the table, sitting next to James and Remus and Peter, and shoveling eggs and bacon into his mouth. She slides onto the bench next to him. He doesn't look at her, but his hand moves over and rests on her leg. "Hi."

She cups her hand around his and links their fingers together. "Hey." He slides his plate towards her and offers his fork. "Want something to eat?" She grins at this, because she knows Sirius Black, and he doesn't share his food with just anyone. She juts her chin forward and waits for him to stab a sliver of fruit and opens her mouth for him to pop it in. She chews absently, resting her head on his shoulder. She can feel his chin tickling her hair as he talks to James.

"How was your date? With Emily?"

James gives a smile that's brittle and clearly not all there. "She's. . . It was fine." Aria doesn't even have to know that James is hopelessly in love with Lily to understand that he's not being entirely truthful. "No, really," James insists, glancing at Aria's skeptical look. "She's very. . . sweet."

"But?" Sirius prompts, his hand toying with one of Aria's wet strands of hair, curling it around his finger. "What's wrong?"

James gives a shifty glance at Aria, who raises her hands defensively. "I don't judge." He grins lopsidedly and leans forward against the table. "But, _she_ was there. With-"

He's interrupted as Lily comes flying towards the table, hair pulled back with a pretty green ribbon and her eyes a million watts brighter. "Hi," she said happily, throwing her arms around Aria and completely disregarding that Sirius' arms are already there. "Hi, Black. Potter. Pettigrew. Remus."

"How come Remus is the only one you call by first name?" James interjects, the light coming into his eyes that he only gets around Lily. He's so plainly flirting that it's amazing that she doesn't notice. "And I'm Potter?"

"Because Remus is my favorite," Lily says, and grins. "And Potter has a better ring to it than James."

The delighted expression on his face, that she's actually flirting back with him, fades when he sees Nate walking towards them. He sits next to Lily, and slings her arm over her shoulder. She turns to him and they kiss- she looks tiny and protected in his arms. Aria smiles, because they're adorable together and there's a spot in her heart for Lily's happiness, no matter what happens.

James isn't watching them, but shoveling food into his mouth at the speed of light. He finishes, drops his fork with a clatter to the plate, and gets to his feet hurriedly. "See you in Herbology," he says to Sirius, smiles at Aria, and gives a half nod, half shudder at Lily and Nate, who are completely absorbed in talking with each other.

"Bye," Sirius says. Aria pulls back in time to see his worried eyes. "What's wrong?" He sighs and takes another forkful of eggs. "He should get over her," he tells her, gesturing his head towards Lily. The watch on his wrist is strong and manly. "She's never looked at him like that." And the way he's there for his best mate, and the way he gets emotions makes her heart swell and she plants a gentle kiss on his cheek before getting to her feet. "I hate to say it, but I have to go get my books before class. See you there?" He nods and tilts his face up expectantly, swallowing the food, and then gesturing towards his lips. Grinning, she leans down and kisses him again, glorying in the fact that she can do this now.

Herbology is amazing, but embarrassing as hell, as Sirius sits next to her, instead of James, and they all catcall and gag every time Sirius's hand brushes hers, until finally, Sirius puts his arm around her, throws an exasperated look over his shoulder, and proceeds to kiss her into oblivion, until Professor Sprout comes over to scold them apart and warn them to keep their hands off each other.

Having the label of 'Sirius Black's girlfriend' is a strange but not entirely unwelcome thing. People look at her a little too long in the hallways, and when he's with her, there's strange lulls in conversations around them. And, there's the added benefit of actually being with Sirius Black, and having his eyes crinkle up at the corners and having him smile like _that_ at her. She can especially welcome it when he pulls her into a broom cupboard before Transfiguration and doesn't let her out until class has already started, causing Professor McGonagall to give her a detention and stare suspiciously at her flushed cheeks and tousled hair.

She's scared, to be honest. Their relationship started as physical, and usually when she tries to make more of those,they crumble into nothingness. She doesn't know anything about Sirius- his family, his friends, or what he does in his free time. She likes him more than he likes her. Maybe he just has to get to know her better, or maybe this will never work out.

But it's hard to be concerned with what could happen in the near or present future when Sirius Black walks her to classes, holds her hand, kisses her in the hallway, wakes up with her every morning. It's hard to tell him to go slow when she's the one he's paying all this attention to. And it's very flattering.

"I want to do something special for you," she says one morning as they lay in bed together, his fingers drawing designs on her arm. "You're doing so much for me, I could pay back the favor." He plants a kiss to the inside of her elbow. "You're doing more for me than you could ever know. You don't have to be obliged to anything."

"We should go on a date. All we've done besides _this_," she gestures around at his bed, "is hang out together. We should go somewhere fun."

"This weekend?" He pauses and thinks. "Sure. But I'm going to surprise you."

"A surprise?" She looks up at him and curls her hand around his neck. "I hate surprises."

"But you haven't had this one yet." He smirks. "Just meet me at by the Entrance Hall at seven on Saturday." She wrinkles her eyebrows. "Saturday's the Hogsmeade trip. Don't you want to go?"

"Trust me. This'll be more fun." She smiles and kisses him, before rolling out of bed and dressing herself in Sirius's old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail. "All right. I'll see you then. I have to go, though," she whispers to him, pulling on her socks and cradling her shoes in her hands. "Before your roommates wake up."

"Too late for that." Aria jumps and shrieks as she pushes through the bed-curtains and sees James sitting up in his bed, watching her. He smirks. "Fun night?"

"Er." She looks anxiously around. All four of Sirius's roommates are awake. "I fell asleep while studying?"

"Nice try." James watches her run around frantically for her bookbag and clothes, blushing as she does so. "Next time, try closing the curtain fully before you go to sleep." Aria blushes worse than ever. Sirius is propped up on his elbows in bed, still shirtless. He grins. "Sorry, mate."

James shrugs. "I should be used to it by now. At least it's Aria. I actually like her. But she might want to get to her dormitory before everyone else wakes up." He pulls his covers back up to his chin and cuddles into his bed, closing his eyes as she pads back across the cold floor, kisses Sirius again, whispers '_see you later_' in his ear and scurries out the door back into the real world.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Sirius

It's Saturday and Sirius is waiting, dressed in a jacket and jeans, by the door to outside. Students crawl past him, holding hands, laughing with friends, and some clap him on the back and watch him out of the corner of their eyes, but he ignores all of them. He's nervous. He wants her approval on this date, and maybe it's a way for him to admit that he wants her approval of him.

"Hey." She's somehow managed to get right in front of him without him noticing. He smiles, and reaches out to kiss her. She looks beautiful, with her hair loose and straight around her face, and she's wearing a blue sweater and tight black jeans that bring out her eyes. She kisses him back, her arms coming up to link behind his neck. "So. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, remember?" He grins down at her.

"But you won't tell me?" And then, when he shakes his head, "I can be very persuasive, you know."

"Really?" He's curious, in spite of himself. "And how would you do that?" She quirks her mouth and reaches up to kiss him again, soft and sensually. He sighs and pushes her away. "You're right. Very persuasive. Unfortunately, it's not working." She pouts. He laughs. "Come on. I'll take you there now." He tows her outside, and even though Dumbledore could probably expel them if he know what they were doing, they walk, hand in hand, to Hogsmeade before pulling her close for side-along Apparition.

They disapparate to a tiny beach tucked in the nook between jutting cliffs. The sun is slowly slipping down the sky and dancing with the clouds in a myriad of red, orange, and palest blue, and the sand is rocky and gray. He steps back from her close embrace and looks around proudly. It's absurdly beautiful, and a sunset on the beach is possibly the most cliché date ever, but she said she liked romance, so here it was. "What do you think?"

There's only silence from his side. He turns to her, and sees her white face and wide eyes. He's in front of her, her hands clutched in his in a second. "What's wrong? What happened?" She blinks and seems to drag her mind from a mile away to stare back at him. She looks confused. "Sorry. I just. . . I've been here before. With my parents. Before they were. . . Well. It doesn't matter. I can hardly remember it." She smiles tremulously. "It's gorgeous. Thank you." She pushes him away and pulls off her shoes and socks, before offering her free hand to him. "Come on. Let's go play."

He grins and follows her. The wind lifts the edges of her hair and whips them around her face. He's not sure how she's managing to walk barefooted on the sand- it's strewn with seaweed and shells and sharp rocks, but it's as though she doesn't notice. "I haven't been to the seaside in ages," she tells him, dropping her shoes in a pile in the sand and towing him towards the waves.

The water is gray and looks cold as she rolls her pants up and runs directly into them. He watches her, dancing with the ebb and flow of the ocean, the way she holds her hands and the graceful arch of her neck. And he's scared. Because he can feel himself getting in too deep with her. He doesn't want her to find out that he's not who she thinks he might be. She's pure and he's tainted. He smiles as a huge breaker crashes over her head and she's left, sputtering and sopping wet.

"You okay?" He shouts at her, barely able to stop laughing, because there's no way he's going to wade into the water with her. She looks like a drowned puppy. "Come here," she calls. "And I'll show you just how funny it is."

"Oh, no." It's early November- he's not going anywhere near the water. "Sorry, love."

And then she's running out of the water towards him, and she's too soaked and gorgeous for him to consider fleeing, until her hand closes around his and she's pulling him into the water with more force than he would have ever thought was possible for such a small girl. It's like ice around his ankles, and he gasps in pain, but she laughs in his face and gives his hand a sharp tug. He's engulfed in the waves, spluttering and choking and then he's popped back up to the surface, bobbing, his head the only part not submerged, and the waves pull him out further, but she's still holding his hand and she's warm and smiling sweetly, so he pulls her closer and kisses her, there in the surf, their legs tangled together.

They walk across the sand while they wait for their clothes to dry, because neither of them want to use their wands and cut the time they have together short. The sand is rough between his toes and the footprints he leaves behind last only a few moments before they're washed away by the lapping waves. The sun has set by now, and the sky is a dark blue. The moon is nearly full, and throws silver particles across the settling waves. He thinks about Remus and how soon they're going to have to transform.

"Should we go back?" Aria asks, turning to face him and cupping her hand against his chest. "Could we get in trouble for this?"

"Probably." He doesn't care, though, when all he can see of her is the moonlight hitting the tops of her cheekbones and the shadows her eyelashes make against it. She laughs and presses tighter against him. Their clothes are still wet. "I really appreciate this, Sirius," she says. "This is the best date I've had yet."

"Mm. Glad to hear it." He wraps his arms around her. "I always have fun with you."

And then she says it, and his heart drops. "I think. . . I might love you."

He can't say anything. He's freezing and burning and his heart is going a million miles an hour. His mouth is dry and his hands are shaking and this has never happened before, and he thinks he might possibly love her back but he doesn't know what that means or how to say it or even how to feel it. He's never been with a girl this real before. He buries his face in her hair, exhales, and pulls her so close that he can feel her heart beating against his. "Thank you," he whispers. There's nothing else he can say, but thank her for trusting him with her. He tilts her chin up and pressing his mouth to hers, and he feels like crying as she cups the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry," he tells her as she pulls back, her fingers soft on his face. "That I can't say-"

"It's fine. I wasn't expecting it. Just that you're here with me is good enough." And she rests her head on the hollow of his throat. He swallows, and wonders how he's going to convince her that he's good enough for him, when he's not even sure that he is himself.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Review?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- I'm so sorry I haven't updated sooner, I've been away on vacation and the internet was dodgy. But I'm back, and should have some more chapters coming soon. **

**Disclaimer: All characters and situations, except my OCS, are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.**

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter Three

Sirius

"So, why are you pulling an all-nighter, again?" Sirius has been looking for Aria- it's Friday night, and he wants her. But she's sitting at a table tucked in the back of the Common Room, books and scrolls of parchment spread out in front of her. "I have a huge test," Aria says frantically, running her fingers through her hair until it's standing up on end, and yawning behind her hand. "And if I don't pass it, I'm going to have to retake the class, and then I can't graduate without it, so I'd have to wait until '79, and I'd be all alone with the sixth years, and they scare me. I mean, have you seen the arms on that-"

"Aria." He sits down at the table and folds his hand over hers, cutting smoothly across her babbling. She looks adorably flustered. He tries not to laugh. "Calm down. You'll do fine. You always do. And anyway, I have a test in Arithmancy tomorrow morning. I'll study with you. And I have a present for you." She raises her eyebrows and he pulls from behind his back a very large and very hot pot of black coffee that he's managed to smuggle up from the kitchens.

"You're the best," she says happily, transfiguring her pencil into a tea cup and pouring herself the first cup of what promises to be very many. "Seriously. You're actually going to stay with me? Nobody does that. Thank you." He smiles and leans across the table to kiss her. "Not at all. I'm glad for a study buddy." He digs into his bag and pulls out a stack of books, wincing internally. He hates studying, but he's on edge. His knee bounces up and down under the table.

Over the course of eight hours, Sirius drinks so many cups of coffee that he's pretty sure his eyes are permanently glued open and his teeth might fall off, and only the soft noises Aria makes when she discovers something new in her textbook and the way her foot rests on his knee keep him from making a pillow out of his book and curling up into the pages. And in the morning, when the light shatters the mess of spilled coffee and broken quills strewn across the table, Aria tugs him to his feet and kisses him gently and that's all the thanks he needs before setting off for first period, his eyes wide open, even though he hasn't slept a wink.

And when James asks him, confused, why he bothered to study, because the Arithmancy test isn't until next Tuesday, he pretends he didn't know.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Aria

The first Quidditch match of the year is this Saturday. Both Aria and Sirius are on the team- she's a Chaser; he's a Beater. In fact, that was the preliminary condition for her joining the team- him and the way his scarlet-and-gold uniform stretched over his lean chest and the excessive, exuberant hugging that went on after a win. But, after trying out, flying her competitors into the ground, she realized just how enjoyable the sport actually was. It was only days later that she purchased her own broom and learned the joy of speeding around the Quidditch pitch like a bullet, dodging bludgers left and right, and now flying's her therapy.

The crowd is loud as she waits, bobbing up and down on her heels, by the door to the pitch. She's not usually nervous, but it's the first match of the year. Her broomstick is clammy in her hand. Raindrops are falling in a torrent, hitting the tin roof of the tiny changing rooms and sprouting leaks into buckets. Mud is tracked all over the linoleum floor, along with pools of dirty water. She closes her eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath.

"You all right?" James Potter's voice is suddenly in her ear, and his hand rests on her back. She turns and smiles up at him. James has been one of her good friends since she joined the team. He's like a brother- he's always there for her. He's dressed in his Quidditch uniform too, and the robes expose strips of ankles, he's so tall. She has to tilt her head at an uncomfortable angle to look into his face. "I'm nervous," she says honestly, leaning her shoulder into his chest. They're both physical people, and although others have been asking them for years if they're dating, she can honestly say that neither of them have feelings for the other. It's a way of getting close to the people they love: through their best friends. "What if I drop the Quaffle? What if I fall off my broom? What if I can't score a goal-"

"Aria." He turns her around and gives her an exasperated look. "Come on. You're the best Chaser we have. You're much better than me. If I'm not nervous, then you shouldn't be either."

"A challenge?" She grins. "Thanks for trying, anyway." There's a comfortable silence between them, in which the laughing and cheering of the crowd is louder than ever. James runs his hand through his hair anxiously, hesitates, and then asks quietly, "Is Lily here?"

Aria watches him- his expression is so longing that it hurts her. "Yes," she says seriously, putting her hand comfortingly on his arm. She wants to cushion her news. "With Nate. Together."

He winces. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" Aria asks him carefully. "Emily? I thought you could get over Lily by now. You two would be sweet together and all, but it's never going to happen."

"Yeah. I do. But every time I think I'm close to getting over her, she starts talking to me again. Now she wants us to be friends, so we can work together without fighting. I don't know how I can be close to her without ruining everything." He quirks the corner of his mouth up in an attempt at a smile, but it quickly falls down again. "She's like a band-aid that I can't rip off, because it would hurt too much."

"Band-aid?"

He runs his hand through his hair again and looks irritated. "See what I mean? I'm spending too much time with her. I know Muggle terms: it's like a sticky bandage."

"Ah." She contemplates this. She's been friends with Lily for seven years, but she's never understand any of her strange Muggle phrases. James must really care about her. More than anything, she loves giving advice to her friends about their love lives. "Then just be friends, and stop expecting something more. Oh, and take Emily out on a date sometime. She'll probably get suspicious if you try to spend all your time being 'friendly' with Lily."

"Right." He looks none too thrilled, but reaches out and ruffles Aria's hair. "You're the best. I don't know what I'd do without you." He offers her a hug, and she squeezes him back. There's a clearing of a throat behind them, and Aria turns her head to see Sirius with an unreadable expression on his face. He raises his eyebrows at James. "Don't you have some captaining to do?" His voice is thick with implications. James rolls his eyes and trods off, clapping Sirius on the back as he goes. Sirius turns his silvery, penetrating stare onto Aria. "Are you ready?"

"As much as I'll ever be." She puts her arm around his waist and presses her face into his shoulder. He smells like grass and soap, and it shouldn't smell so intoxicating, but somehow it's making her mind spin. "You?"

"I'm never nervous." She smirks and pokes him in the side, but doesn't say anything. His arms go tentatively around her shoulders as they wait in silence, and the jeering and talking of the crowd swells up like a wave and threatens to drown her again.

"All right, everyone, listen up!" James is standing on top of one of the benches, his hands on his hips, looking absurdly heroic with his broom propped behind his neck. Sirius pivots them on the spot so they can watch him without loosening their grip on each other. James rumples his hair in the way that infuriates Aria's best friend so much, and stares fiercely around at them. "This is our first match. Ravenclaw doesn't have a chance. I know we haven't had as many practices as we should, but we've got the best players in the school, and better brooms. Conditions are bad out there, and there's not much we can do, so fly carefully, but make sure we win anyway." They all grin and cluster around for a massive team hug before piling out of the doors to the stadium.

The rain is cold and wet and the kind of drops that clings to clothing and soak through to the bone. The crowd is indiscernible behind a blooming of colorful umbrellas, but they cheer and boo in equal measures as the teams take their places behind their captains, watch each other warily, and mount their brooms and kick off as Madame Hooch's whistle sounds. The air whistles past Aria's ears. Her hair is tied on top of her head, so there's no protection for the sheets of rain that pour down her face like tears. She can barely see the blue and bronze blurs as they shoot past her, but tails James and Cooper as they chase the Quaffle.

The Ravenclaw team is clearly out of practice. They drop the Quaffle twice, and allow Aria to swoop in from underneath them, and streak off down the pitch to score a goal before even bothering to chase her. The first hundred points are scored easily, and then their Seeker, Tarlow, catches the snitch and they've won. She's fairly disappointed as they point their brooms back towards the ground, the crowd whooping and cheering. She likes long, drawn out matches where she has to work hard.

This doesn't stop her from flinging herself off the broom and jumping up and down with the rest of the team as the students pour out of the bleachers and surround them. She throws her arm around Lily as her best friend comes towards her, Nate nowhere to be seen, cheering and shrieking in her ear. And then she's hugging Sirius, and he swings her around and kisses her, muttering, "You were brilliant, you're why we won," as he comes up for air. She rests her chin on his shoulder, her feet still dangling near his knees, and sees James and Lily hugging, her arms thrown around his neck and his face pressed into her hair, and smiles, because there's something about them together that is absolutely right. But Nate comes up behind them and stares at the interlocked couple, and then they've separated and Lily's back under Nate's arm, and James is back with his girlfriend, and it's as if the moment had never happened.

Aria decides not to care about her friends' relationships- after all, she has one of her own to worry about now. Not that she has anything to worry about. Sirius is perfect. She smiles up at him, as the entire group makes their way up to the castle, cheering and hugging and clapping, and he squeezes her hand tightly in his own. It may have been a pointlessly easy win for Gryffindor, but to Aria, it's a win of her own.

. . . . . . . . . .

Sirius

Aria's birthday is on Wednesday. He's dreading it, to be honest. He has never, ever gotten a girl a birthday present, apart from his mum when he was five, and she threw the cheery card and half-burnt cookie into the trash with many insults when he gave them to her. Somehow, this experience has never given him positive thoughts about birthdays. He asks her what she wants on Monday, when they're clustered together in the Great Hall (it's roast beef dinner). She gives him a funny look as she cuts her meat- she's left-handed, and he's right-handed, and it would've been awkward to be bumping hands with anyone if it wasn't her. "Don't bother," she says carelessly. "What are birthdays, anyway? A way to celebrate being unceremoniously shoved out of your mom's-"

"O-kay," he cuts across her, not wanting to hear the rest, or think about it. "Someone's cynical. What put you off presents?"

She arches her eyebrow at him. "You haven't met my family."

He's about to protest- he could take her family any day because they're probably better than his- when he realizes that he doesn't want her to know about any of that. He loves the way she looks at him- as though he's the moon in her cloudy sky, and the only source of light. And then he considers slamming his head into his full plate of food and risking getting mashed potatoes all over his hair, because when did he get so sappy and romantic? He clears his throat gruffly. "Well. So there's nothing you'd like me to do for you?" He watches her shake her head and inwardly smiles. Having a girlfriend might not be as difficult as it once sounded.

"No," James says flatly, as Sirius relates this conversation to him in Arithmancy. "Definitely not. She would never dismiss that. No girl would ever not want their boyfriend to do nothing for their birthday."

"I'm telling the truth," he says defensively. "She said I shouldn't bother. She said she hated birthdays and presents."

James rolls his eyes, as Professor Vector reaches across their desk to collect their number chart. "Come on, Sirius. You're not that dumb, no matter what you look like." Ignoring Sirius's insulted yelp, he continues. "It's a test. If you completely disregard it, she's never going to forgive you. Remember that one time, last year, when I forgot my sister's birthday? We weren't dating- stop laughing, that's sick- but she still sent me a howler that exploded in my face in the middle of breakfast? If it's your girlfriend, it's going to be like that- only worse."

"So, what? I'm supposed to shower her with expensive gifts?"

"Don't be an idiot. All you have to do is show her some romance. Give her a card or a poem or something to show her you care about her."

Sirius gives him a shifty look. "Since when was your mind replaced with a teenage girl's magazine? Should I be worried about you? Is your girlfriend a bad influence? Or. . . do you even want a girlfriend anymore?"

James smacks him on the head as the latter grins. "You're an ass, you know? I don't know what Aria sees in you."

"Thank Merlin you don't," Sirius quips, and ducks to avoid another blow. "Hey, Moony," he says, straightening up as his other friend comes into the classroom late, looking exceedingly pale and waif-like. Remus gives a slight smile, pulls the chair next to Sirius out to sit down, and tilts his head towards his friends like they're his magnets. "When's the next full moon, Remus?"

"Next Monday," the smaller boy says miserably to James. "Bugger it all." Sirius raises his eyebrows. Remus is one of the politest people he's ever met, and hardly complains about anything. This doesn't sound like him. The boy catches sight of his face and sighs heavily. "I may or may not have taken a fancy. To a girl. Who's my friend. That doesn't know. Which I shouldn't. Because she has a boyfriend. And I'm a fucking werewolf." The bitterness that has crept into his voice is harsh and self-deprecating. James looks around helplessly at Sirius, who claps Remus on the shoulder and tries to be comforting. "Look, Moony. You're allowed to like a girl. You deserve to have a relationship and to be happy. You being a werewolf doesn't mean anything, you know."

"No, I don't know," Remus snaps, so uncharacteristically that Sirius can't help but be shocked. "What do you think would happen if I told her? She'd swoon with longing? _'Oh, Remus, I've always wanted to kiss someone who turns into a murderous beast every month, and by the way, did you happen to eat my cat?' _Right. Because it's not like she's unfairly pretty and sweet and probably would be perfect for me, if she didn't have a boyfriend."

James looks suddenly worried. "It's not Lily, is it?"

"Or Aria?" Sirius hastens to follow, because those two are the only girls that are perfect in their minds. Remus rolls his eyes. "How low do you think I'd stoop? Plus, I'd probably be castrated if I even wanted to."

Neither of them know what to say. This has always been a problem of Remus's- especially bad in third year, after which they decided to become Animagus because nothing else they'd been doing or saying before that had helped. And it did help, but Sirius has always had the sense that the self-loathing never fully left, just was pushed away for a period of time. And now it's back. He props his elbows on the table and looks at Remus, making sure he has his attention. "You deserve someone like that, Rem. James's right. You're an amazing bloke- any girl would be lucky to have you." He waits for Remus to smile, disregarding how sad it seems, before continuing. "So. . . are you going to tell us who it is?"

"Not a chance, mate. Not a chance." And he only smiles when Sirius throws his arm around his neck and ruffles his hair.

. . . . . .

Sirius skips Herbology on Wednesday. It's stupid and irresponsible and he's going to get hell from Aria, because they sit together, but he has to find her a present. Regardless of what she said, he now knows that she's expecting something from him. He slinks down the hallway under James' invisibility cloak and slips out of the wide oak doors, making sure to skirt around Filch and Mrs. Norris who are prowling suspiciously, freezes the Whomping Willow and makes his way down the familiar tunnel to the Shrieking Shack. Hogsmeade is predictably quiet and littered with tarnishing snow. It's lonely here, without the laughter and excitement of the other students. He doesn't like loneliness.

He's back inside the castle right as Herbology ends, and has enough luck to run straight into Slughorn. He looks jovially surprised. "Sirius, my boy, what aren't you in your class?"

There's no excuse, because he's near the entrance hall and not a bathroom, so he can only scratch his ear with his finger and shuffle his feet and say, "I fancied a walk." Slughorn clearly doesn't believe him, but lets Sirius walk away with only a day's worth of detention. He folds the invisibility cloak under his arm as Slughorn waddles away and waits outside the double doors as his class comes streaming in. James shoots him a look and Remus looks disappointed in him, but as Aria walks in, chatting happily with Lily, and catches sight of him, her face closes. He winces, and hurries to catch up with her. "Aria. Can I talk to you for a second?"

She smiles, but it's colder than usual. "Sure. See you later, Lily?" Lily nods and rushes off to walk with James, and Aria turns to him. "Hi. Nice of you to show up."

"I'm sorry," he says without preamble. "I haven't skipped in forever, but there was something I needed to do."

"Don't apologize to me." She takes his hand cautiously. "It's your education. And if there's something you thought was more important than de-potting mandrakes, then I guess it's okay." She smiles again, but this time it's more genuine, and it occurs to him just how amazing of a girlfriend she is. "So, what were you doing?"

"I thought I'd show you," he says happily, following her as she leads them up the marble stairs and to the Common Room. It's nearly empty, just a few students that stare at them as she pulls him up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. He hasn't thought he could go up there before, but since they're holding hands, the stone slide never appears. Her room is small and relatively clean, and smells like hair-products and flowers. She looks at him expectantly.

"I got you a present," he says, feeling oddly nervous as he rummages in his pocket. "For your birthday."

"You didn't have to." She looks surprised, but pleased. He smirks and makes his way towards her. "I know. But I wanted to."

"Well, then. Thank you very much." She puts her arms around his neck and smiles up at him. He's noticed before, the way she looks at him, as though he's the only person she can clearly see. It scares him. "Not at all," he says, kissing her lightly so that he doesn't have to see the intense expression on her face.

She pulls back and smiles absently, but then her fists ball in his shirt and jumps up and down excitedly. "Can I open it? What is it?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," he says, watching her fondly, because she reminds him of an impatient five year old. She beams persuasively up at him and waits until he places the tiny box into her hands. She tears off the wrapping paper and wrenches open the lid. Inside is a delicate golden necklace, which he had to go to five different stores in Hogsmeade to find the right one. She gives a little intake of breath, and gently pulls it from its caches.

"How much did this cost you?" She asks, glancing up at him quickly. He shrugs. "It doesn't matter. What do you think?"

She smiles. "It's a star."

"I know. I figured you could wear it and think of me. I am a constellation, after all."

"Ha ha ha." She bumps her shoulder against his and grins reluctantly. "Cute. I love it, though."

The way her eyes linger on him makes him think that she's not just talking about the necklace. He doesn't want to get himself deeper than necessary, so he takes the necklace from her fingers and gestures at her. "Want me to put it on for you?"

She smiles and turns around, sweeping her hair away from her neck and waiting. His fingers fumble with the tiny clasp, and his hands suddenly feel too large and awkward for the gentle slope of her neck and elegant way she holds her head. He carefully attaches it, and it settles into the hollow between her collarbones. She turns, letting her hair fall down her back again. It's incredibly intimate, putting jewelry on a girl, which is something he's never noticed before. He pulls her into his arms, kisses her.

"I have to go," he says, pulling away from her at last and smoothing her hair from her face. He can't help it if his fingers automatically tangle in it. She gives a little sigh and reaches up on her tip toes to kiss him again. Laughing, he pushes her away. "No, seriously. I have an all-day detention with Slughorn that I have to attend to, unless I want to get written up again."

"All-day?" She visibly deflates. "I'll miss you."

It's getting too serious. He doesn't want to break her heart when he's not as perfect as she thinks he might be. He grabs the jacket that's strewn across the floor and shrugs it on. "See you later."

"Okay." She watches him as he makes for the door. He pauses by the door handle and smiles. She doesn't smile back, though, just continues to watch him with those wide blue eyes. Before they can pierce his soul too fully, he yanks it open and hurries down the hall, away from her.

. . . . . .

**A/N- A random chapter? Why yes, I know it's what you've all been longing for! A chapter that has nothing to do with anything and doesn't even make sense and is poorly written? Hurray! **

**At any rate, I didn't just randomly throw poor Remus's problems in for filler- it will actually be important later on in this story. And yes, this was, basically, a filler chapter. I hope you enjoyed. . .**

**Review? I'll love you forever.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All characters and situations belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I'm just borrowing them.**

It's a short one, darlings, but it's necessary. **  
**

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Chapter Four

Aria

"Hey, Aria?"

It's a late Sunday afternoon, and she's curled up in front of the fire as wind whistles around the tower, her only company a roommate's grumpy cat. She turns her head and smiles as Raye, another friend and roommate comes towards her. Raye's tiny, and is usually mistaken for a second year, even though she's been eighteen for three months, and undeniably Asian, with a smooth face, long silky black hair and dark eyes that slant upwards at the corners. She perches on the couch, wrapping her thin arms around her knees and shaking her bangs out of her eyes. "Hi," Aria says, thumbing a bookmark to the crease of the pages and smiling. "What's up?"

"I need a favor," she says cautiously. "I know you're busy and all, with Quidditch, and Sirius, but. . . Remus is avoiding me, and I don't know why. And now I'm failing Transfiguration."

Aria tilts her head to the side and wonders if she's missed something. Raye's thought process tends to jump from point A to point D and leave the average-minded people far behind. "Sorry? How does that connect?"

Raye sighs, sinking into the plush cushions of the couch. "Remus is a genius. He used to help me with my Transfiguration homework. And now he turns and practically runs in the opposite direction when he sees me. Therefore, since I am of less intelligence and terrified of Professor McGonagall, I'm failing her class."

Aria shakes her head, twice, to try and wrap her mind around this. "Oh. So, what do you want me to do about it? Find out what's wrong with him?"

"No," she says firmly. "I'm sure he'll come 'round eventually. Do you think you could tutor me in Transfiguration? You got all O's in the OWLs. If Remus can't help me, then you're the next best choice." Aria's not sure whether she should feel flattered or insulted. She decides on flattered. "Well. Thanks, I guess. Of course I will. Your parents will kill you if you fail."

"I know." She looks bitterly disappointed, and Aria reaches her hand out for her friend's automatically. "They already found out I got a T on the last test and threatened to come to 'talk with me', but that was before my sister eloped to Fiji with her boyfriend, so they rushed off to deal with that instead."

Aria blinks. Raye's entire family, while incredibly entertaining, tends to border on the overly dramatic side. If there's ever a stereotypical family that pushes their children to the point of breaking, it's hers. "Really? Lucy's married now? Isn't her boyfriend a Muggle bartender, though?"

Raye nods and rolls her eyes. "And the only reason Mum and Dad never called her out on it is because they thought it would never last. And now they're married." She laughs, but it's humorless. Aria squeezes her hand. "If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here, okay? If it gets too much."

Raye smiles at her, warm and appreciative. "Thanks, darling. But I'm fine. I've got Fabian now, too."

"That's right." Aria's grinning now. "Your new _boyfriend_. You'll be ditching your lifelong friends for the attention of some boy-"

"You're one to talk," Raye interjects, her eyes merry. She throws an exaggerated look over her shoulder. Aria, scrunching up her face curiously, follow her gaze towards where Sirius is lurking, watching them from the doorway. She blushes and looks away quickly. "Thought so," Raye says smugly and gets to her feet with a laugh. "Well, thanks, Ari. I'll bring my textbooks to you on Tuesday, if you don't have any plans?"

"Sounds good. And I'll get to the bottom of this Remus-situation."

"But do it carefully," Raye says anxiously, her eyes wide and earnest. "I don't want him to find out that I'm prying. Or that you're prying for me."

"Don't worry. I'm a wonderful spy."

Raye snorts and dodges Aria's pen as she skips across the Common Room and up the stairs to the dormitory. Aria settles back into her couch, shaking her head and smiling, as Sirius approaches her and sits down in the vacated seat. "Hi. What was that all about?"

"Oh, nothing. Raye was just asking me for a favor. How are you? I haven't seen you all day."

"I know," he says carelessly, folding his long legs under each other and watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Sorry. I've just been really busy."

"It's fine." She can't help but feel like it's an excuse. But, if he had a problem, he'd tell her. He wasn't one to hide his feelings, and she wasn't one to worry. Instead, she leans forward on the balls of her palms until she's hovering inches away from his face, hesitating before pressing her lips to the corner of his cheek. He turns his head towards her, and perhaps accidentally their mouths meet, and his slants under hers. He's warm and firm and as she runs her hand over his chest, real and palpable as his beating heart. He pulls away first and smiles slightly at her. She tilts forward, until she's curled up around his chest, her knees under his elbows, and the top of her head resting between the crook of his neck and shoulder. He smells like parchment and ink and boy. "Look. I'm wearing the necklace." She fingers with the delicate gold chain, but he doesn't look down at her, just nods, his eyes fixed on something near the fireplace. She turns towards it, but doesn't see anything.

"Thank you. Again."

"Not at all." He's unnervingly polite. Maybe he's just tired. She presses her face closer into his skin, clutching her hands around the bottom of his shirt. His hands go up to rest unobtrusively on her waist, just a warm weight. He tilts his head slightly to the side as she kisses the hollow between his collarbones."Do you love me?" She whispers suddenly, unable to take the silence and his unresponsiveness.

He's suddenly frozen against her, his hands still in her hair, blank and unresponsive. She pulls back slightly so that she can see his face- carefully shuttered and emotionless. Before she can say anything, or register the loss of heat against her chest or the pressure of his hand leaving her waist, he's pushing her away gently. He whispers an excuse so polite that it's not until the room is empty that she notices she's once again alone.

. . . . . . .

Sirius

He's not sure what he's doing.

It's stupid really. She's not saying or doing anything wrong- she's just being her usual, perfect self. And yet somehow, it's not enough. He wants her to do something drastically different and relationship-altering so that he has an excuse to distance himself, but he doesn't think it's possible for that to happen.

And at the same time, he wants to lose himself completely in her, wrap his arms around her and never let go. It scares him, the intensity of it all, and how quickly it all happened. He barely knows her. He doesn't know what her favorite color is, what her middle name is, what her parents' make a living by doing. And she doesn't know about him, she has no idea about what he gets up to every month and about his family and his brother (he's not even sure she knows that he has a brother), and it seems to him suddenly that it's a huge liability. He wants to love her and he doesn't want to love her; he wants her to love him and for her not to.

To say the least, Sirius is confused. And Sirius doesn't get confused, not even in Arithmancy when Professor Vector is explaining about numeral magic, although that does make his head spin a bit.

And since he's so confused, and it's Monday night, he gives Aria and her friends an empty excuse as they ask him to play a game with them in the Common Room and sneaks right past them and out of the castle under the Invisibility Cloak with James and Peter. The night is eerily still and quiet, and freezing the Whomping Willow is easier than it's ever been. He transforms before he slips into the tunnel, and the fluidity and freedom of the dog's limbs, along with the consequent numbing of all emotions and feelings is welcome.

They venture into Hogsmeade that night: the wolf, the stag, the dog and the rat, warped shadows of what they once were, lit only by the wavering full moon. They play in the streets, all wagging tails, dancing feet and lolling tongues, and reckless abandonment, and for a brief, shimmering moment in time, Sirius makes a decision; he's going to just have fun and not be caught up in the serious aspects of their relationship.

. . . . . . . .

Aria

A letter comes in the mail on Tuesday for Aria. It's not delivered at the normal time, because it's the middle of the afternoon, and suddenly there's a tapping on the window, and she throws it open and there's a brown feathered owl with a scroll clutched in its talons. She unrolls it, reads it briefly, and then crumples it in her fist, her face burning. It's from her mother.

_Aria-_

_ Do not come home this summer. Your father and I are working out some issues and have no desire to see you, either. We will deposit more money into your bank account to cover a fee for an apartment. We will not be able to attend your graduation, and hope that we don't hear anything about you joining the work force. You've always been stubborn, darling. You don't need to make any money when we can provide enough for the rest of your life. All you have to do is settle down with a nice pureblood and focus on raising a family._

_ Mother_

She stares at the mauled parchment in her hands. Her parents have been having 'issues' since the moment they met each other. Her mother is strict, cold and devoid of emotions, while her father is stern, socially inept, and likes to fall into bed with every woman he sees. They're about as different from each other as two unpleasant people can be. But both of them are quite happy with the habit of making Aria feel as bad about herself as they can.

She gets to her feet without thinking, grabs her bag of books and squeezes through the crowds of raucous students towards the door of the Common Room. She's pretty sure Sirius told her he had some studying to do, so she's going to go talk to him. She darts down a side staircase and towards the library, her footsteps echoing in the empty halls. Madam Pince gives her a pinched look as she pushes open the doors, and Aria gives a strained smile and tiptoes past the librarian's searching glance.

Sirius is sitting at a table in the back, his eyes shut and his face pressed against a History of Magic textbook. She smiles as she walks towards him, because he looks like an innocent child while he sleeps. "Sirius," she whispers, sitting down in the chair across from him and pressing her palm against his cheek. "Wake up."

He gives a little twitch, and opens his eyes. There's a spot of drool on the page about Gornuk the Great. "A-Aria," her name is punctuated by a yawn. "I fell asleep? Damn. I'm sorry."

"I just got here." She watches in trepidation as he stretches like a cat and leans across the table to kiss her. "I need some advice." She hands the crumpled letter to him, and he looks confused. "Take your anger out on it, much?" He asks. She rolls her eyes. "Just read it."

He does, and his eyebrows pucker together in the middle. "Wow. . . your parents might be nicer than mine."

Aria sighs. "Good to know. Just. . . what should I do? Not respond? Write back and tell them what I think of their stupid rules?"

"How about you pretend that you don't have parents? You can say they died in a tragic car accident when you were three and were raised by wolves."

"Seriously?" She frowns at him. "I actually need advice. That's not helpful."

"Sorry, sorry. Hey, how about you spend all their money and go out partying every night? I'm sure that'll make them happy."

She stares at him. She would have thought that if anyone could understand family problems it would be Sirius. She's annoyed at him; she wants him to give her real advice, to reassure her that everything will be okay, that her parents are missing out on a great daughter. But that's not just what this is about. It's more than that. She's the one that's always giving, always loving, and never expecting anything in return. She wishes that, just for once, he would take care of her. His joking in this situation is a metaphor to their entire relationship. She wants it to be serious, he wants it to be fun.

She looks at him, at the pathetic, hopeless smile that's plastered on his face, and feels like crying. "Stop it," she says fiercely, leaning over the table. "Just stop it. I thought you would care. Can't you ever be serious?"

"I'm always serious. That's my name, after all."

She pushes the chair away from the table so violently that it clatters to the floor. She can hardly hear it. "For once, can you not make everything a joke? Can you actually care about me, or my feelings? I'm sorry if I'm asking too much of you." She grabs her books and starts shoving them in her bag. "I'll see you later," she says dully, swinging it over her shoulder and giving him a disappointed look.

"Aria. No, wait. . ."

"Sorry, Sirius. I'm not sure if I can wait for you much longer." With the sense of ripping a piece of her heart away, she turns her back on him and makes her way towards the door.

He doesn't follow her.

. . . . .

PLEASE review?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- I am entirely uninspired, so sorry it's so short. If you see my muses, please give them a kick in the toga from me. :/

* * *

Sirius

He's not entirely sure, but he thinks that they've broken up.

And it's shit.

She avoids him. When he walks down the hallway towards her, she turns on her heels and runs in the opposite direction. When he goes to the foot of the dormitory stairs, she doesn't come down. She doesn't meet his eyes in classes, and she definitely won't sit next to him. He doesn't know what happened between them. One moment, everything was fine, and then she's getting upset at him over something stupid and she won't talk to him again.

He wants to talk to her, though. Her walking away from him was messy and if they're going to break up, he wants it to be clean and thorough. He doesn't want to break up. But he's not sure that he's able to stay with her when she wants more from him and he just wants more of the same.

And he comes to a realization. She's just another human. He thought she was different and special and above everybody else, but she makes mistakes and gets angry and refuses to talk to him, like a stereotypical girl. He's annoyed by this more than he can remember. He wanted to believe that she was perfect and she wasn't, and that hurts more than accepting her for her would have. And maybe her mistakes were his mistakes and his mistakes were made because of her, and all of it makes his head hurt and he decides not to think about it anymore.

He has a method for this. James would call it 'idiocy' and Remus would call it 'self-destructiveness' and to be honest he knows that he could have something good, but he's so used to messing things up that he can't stop. He finds a girl, with a round, pretty face and long black hair that's so unlike Aria he doesn't have a problem flirting with her and convincing her to come up to his dormitory with him. There, he kisses her, ignoring the wrongness of her taste and lips and the way her hands tremble when she touches him. Aria never did- she was strong and fiery and sweet and he can't think about her when he does this, so he pulls the girl down onto his bed and focuses his hurt and anger onto her.

There's a knock on his door the next morning. He gets up, yawns, and drags his shirt over his ribs. The girl is in the bathroom, taking a shower. He can't remember her name, even though he's sure she's told him hundreds of times. He tugs open the door and his heart wrenches, because there's Aria, wearing an oversized sweater, her hair falling over her shoulders, and he's forgotten just how beautiful she is. She smiles at him hesitantly. "Can I come in?"

He pulls open the door. The water's still running in the bathroom. She glances around, then sits down on her bed. "Look. I'm sorry. I never meant to explode on you. I was just frustrated. I don't like my parents very much." She crosses her legs and gives him a searching look. "And I still feel like you don't love me."

He sits down beside her. He's not sure whether they've broken up, or are back together, or fighting. Whichever, he reaches out for her hand. He craves her touch like an addict. She accepts it and gently laces her fingers through his, which he takes as a good sign. "Aria," he says, and then his throat swells up. She's asking for his forgiveness when he has another girl waiting for him in the shower. "You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, that I couldn't be everything that you wanted."

She smiles at him, but it's still guarded. "So am I. But I think we can work it out. We'll take it one day at a time, and not worry about the future. Does that work for you?"

Of course it works for him. He gets to be with her, after all. He inches towards her and wraps her up in his arms. "It sounds perfect. Thank you." She rests her head briefly on the joint of his neck and shoulder, and he can feel her lips curl into a smile. "Sure. Are you free Saturday night?"

"What do you have in mind?"

She pulls back and gives him a mischievous look. "Hogsmeade weekend. But it's a surprise. Remember?" He laughs and goes in to kiss her, but she turns her face to the side and all he gets is the softness of her cheek. "Of course I'm free. There's nowhere I'd rather be." She smiles sweetly and extricates herself from his arms, weaving through the mess of clothes and parchment towards the door, her hips moving like she's dancing. He watches her wave and shut the door behind her, and sighs, running his hand through his hair. He's pretty sure he's messed everything up.

When the girl from the night before exits from the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel and an expectant grin, he has to make a choice. She sidles up to him and clings to his arm. "I heard the door close. Who was it? One of your roommates? Did he ask about me?"

He's terribly annoyed. Her voice is high and nasal and her face is too round and too dull. He shakes her off of him. "No. It was no one. Don't worry about it."

She looks put out and juts her lower lip. "Fine. Do you want me to come over on Saturday night?"

He pauses. There's no decision between Aria and this girl- Aria would win, hands down. But he's sick inside. He's not sure if he can go on much longer- hurt his girlfriend more than he already has. He opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. "No. . . come over Sunday, instead."

He watches her dress and then leave the room, in the same way Aria had. He hates himself sometimes.

Aria

She dresses up for the date. Last time, he saw her with loose hair and no makeup, and she's sure she looked like a monster. She takes special care in smoothing out her dress- a pretty, dark green with sleeves down to her elbows and a low, scooped neckline-, and in the careful half-twist of her hair. She examines herself in the mirror- at the long eyelashes and pink cheeks, and frowns. She looks too innocent to be Sirius's girlfriend.

He stares at her as she appears in front of him. Granted, so had most of the students she'd passed in the hallway- probably because she looks so sweet and childish. She inconspicuously tugs on a lock of her hair and adjusts the collar of her warm coat as she smiles up at him. "You ready?"

"Yeah." He's wearing some sort of ridiculous hat with ear-flaps that's absolutely over-the-top, in the usual manner of Sirius Black. She takes the strings and ties them in a bow around his chin. "You're adorable," she says. He smirks at her- apparently 'adorable' isn't used to describe him often. "You look beautiful. But you always do." He's being strangely polite. She would call him out on it, but maybe he's trying to get back in her good books, so she just smiles and nods a little and grabs his hand. "Come on." It's weird, not being able to feel his skin when her fingers are laced through his. Impersonal.

She takes him to a restaurant on the corner of the main Hogsmeade street, between Zonkos and a tiny lingerie shop that makes him turn pink. It's a fancy place, with waiters in black suits and white gloves that lead them to a small table by the window where they can watch the beginnings of a blizzard sprinkle down from the sky and coat the dreary grounds. The other tables are filled with older, married couples and their rich friends who watch them with indulgent expressions. She takes his hand over the table, and smiles.

"I've never been here before," he says as he looks from the white rose in a delicate blue vase to the thick menus, to her happy face. "How did I miss it? I've visited Zonkos for the past seven years."

"Maybe it's because it's in between your two favorite places?" She grins as he turns red again.

She's forgotten how nice it is, to just sit down and talk to him. He has an opinion on everything- from the food they serve ("the best I've ever had") to the music playing ("far too sappy and slow"), but then he grabs her hand and drags her out to the deserted dance floor that looks as though it's never been used, and ignores her protests, but wraps her in his arms and swings her around and around, so she throws back her head and laughs and lets herself get carried away in the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his hands pressed against her back.

They leave the restaurant, after Aria has to fight Sirius off in order to pay the bill, and the snow falls on the shoulders of her coat and hair like powdered sugar. She takes his hand and spins around in the street, head tipped back and mouth open in a childish attempt to catch the fleeting sweetness. Her scarf flies behind her and dances in the wind. She laughs and chases after it, kicking up the snow as she goes. Sirius, although she'd expect him to follow her, possibly dance with her, he does nothing. She's not even sure he's watching her. She stops, once she catches the scarf with the tips of her fingers, and tries not to blush. She feels stupid and childish.

"Sorry," she says quietly, winding the fabric around her neck and tucking her chin underneath it. The cold of the snow stings her cheeks and nose. "I- erm. . . just like the snow, is all."

"It's okay." Is it strange if he doesn't smile? He usually smiles at her. "We should probably go back." He stuffs his hands in his pockets and turns on his heels to walk back through the ankle-deep snow towards the castle. She runs to catch up and links her arm through his elbow. "You all right?" She asks carefully, studying his profile. He turns to her, quirking the corner of his mouth upwards. "I'm fine." But there's something lurking in his tone that suggests otherwise. She looks at him curiously, but he doesn't elaborate, so she ducks her head and watches her feet sinking through the snow, and thinks that maybe something's missing between them.

"I had a nice time," Aria says quietly when they reach the castle doors and he makes a move as if to go towards the kitchen. She just wants to head to the tower and curl up in a ball and think back on the date, trying to decide if she said something wrong. "Thanks for coming with me."

"No problem," he says, tucking his hands into his pockets and giving her a soft smile. "It was fun." He leans in to kiss her- she shuts her eyes, but his mouth just lands feather-light on the corner of her lips, more on her cheek than anything else before he pulls away. "I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"

And as she watches him turn his back on her and walk down the hallway, she can't help but feel as if she's losing him.


End file.
